Quotes for Midwives

My last meeting with the lovely midwifery students I've been working with in Papua New Guinea is this morning.

 Pacific Adventist University Midwifery Students PNG

I've been surfing the net, looking for quotes that relate to midwifery, women and birth that I thought would inspire them.   I've come across the following and thought I'd share them with you.

"You are a midwife, assisting at someone else’s birth. Do good without show or fuss. Facilitate what is happening rather than what you think ought to be happening. If you must take the lead, lead so that the mother is helped, yet still free and in charge. When the baby is born, the mother will rightly say: “We did it ourselves!”  - From The Tao Te Ching

Speak tenderly to them. Let there be kindness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile, in the warmth of our greeting. Always have a cheerful smile. Don’t only give your care, but give your heart as well. ~ Mother Teresa

Ask me for strength and I will lend not only my hand, but also my heart. ~ Unknown

If you lay down, the baby will never come out! ~ Native American saying

Offer hugs, not drugs ~ Adina Lebowitz

Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man (sic) will have discovered fire. ~ Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

  Just as a woman's heart knows how and when to pump, her lungs to inhale, and her hand to pull back from fire, so she knows when and how to give birth. ~Virginia Di Orio

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

For God hath not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. ~2Timothy 1:7

If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle. ~Irma Bombeck

Making the decision to have a baby – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

What's done to children, they will do to society. ~Karl Menninger

A woman
in harmony
with her spirit
is like
a river flowing.
She goes
where she will
without pretense
and arrives
at her destination,
prepared
to be herself
and only herself.
~Maya Angelou

Compassion hurts

The massacre of young people in Norway has shocked and distressed me. I know I am not alone in feeling these emotions. My heart goes out to all those youngsters who survived as they now process the loss of their friends and the feelings of guilt that comes with surviving such unfathomable horror when others didn't. I have been reading all the reports and stories, quite compulsively I realised. I was surprised by my compulsion and became aware that I'm trying to get some sense of where that cold, calculating killer was coming from; what enabled him to mercilessly and methodically shoot scores of young people. 

I read that this killer lived with his mother. As a midwife, my life has been dedicated to helping women, their partners and babies connect, knowing that our primary relationship(s) set the stage for our future health and well-being in every aspect of life.  I wondered how his mother was feeling. There was no mention of his father or any other family member in the news items. 

My information about the horrible events in Norway have come from individuals and links posted on Twitter. I have read the various newspaper reports that were linked on twitter. As the information trickled through the net, painting the picture of the events unfolding in Norway, I couldn't get my head around the way that the killer set off the bomb in Oslo, then travelled to a small island where teenagers were on a summer camp and slaughtered so many of them.  Why????

A link on twitter provided a clue "Who kills 80 Teenagers, one by one?" .

We now know there have been at least 94 teenagers murdered, but there are still some young people unaccounted for and still to find. I can only hope they are alive, but the prospects are grim. 

The car bomb was placed near the offices of the socialist government and the teenagers were worker's party members. Rick Falkvinge, the blogger, suggested that the bomb in Oslo itself was a diversionary tactic to keep the police busy while the killer "executed (the teenage party members) in cold blood, as a political strategy to cripple a political party decades in the future." 

The killer's murderous rampage drew the following comment on Falkvinge's blogpost. 

Let Norway show him mercy, not because he deserves it, but because their vision of civilization is more complete than his.

A steady stream of information was tweeted by Ketil B Stensrud, who described  himself as a 'football-fantatic journalist, who worked for The Independent, Daily Mirror, AP, TV2 and VG, turned general manager at Radio NRJ Kristiansand.  One of his tweets contained the following:

BREAKING: Here you can download the Oslo/Utøya gunman's manifesto, in which he gives detailed account of planned attack. 

The manifesto is enlightening, if depressing. 


There are pages and pages of anti-Muslim, anti-multiculturalism rhetoric. There is anti feminist rhetoric. The manifesto is worth looking at as it shows how a mind seeks the evidence it needs to support its biases and bigotry. We are all capable of that self affirming and self referencing behaviour. As you read it, you can see how delusions can become very powerful and how the brain can become closed to any other way of thinking. 

In the document, the killer's reasoning is carefully laid out. His plan to decimate the pro-multicultural element in his country has been brewing for 9 years according to the information in this document. The level of lies and deceit he employed are breathtaking. 


The New York Times article this morning "Scouring the Web for Clues to a Suspected Attacker's Motives" contains sources and links to information about the murderer and his motives by both the journalist and the readers.  A psychologist has, in response to the massacre, written that mass murderers see themselves as victims. That somewhat fits this killer's positioning, however, he seems himself more like an avenging angel or knight. 


He saw himself as a Justiciar Knight fighting multiculturalism. You can read in his manifesto what that means. He surrendered easily to the police when they arrived on the island and under interrogation, confessed to the crimes. This newspaper heading indicates what is to come.    Norway massacre suspect calls his deeds atrocious, but necessary

There have been examples of extraordinary heroism throughout this horrific event by individuals and immense courage and resiliency of the young people.  The leader of the party Jens Stoltenberg has been an inspirational and compassionate leader, saying: 

Today,we have been hit by two savage and cowardly attacks. Tonight, we all stand together, taking care of each other"affirming that "The answer to violence, is even more democracy. Even more humanity"

The massacre in Norway illustrates the profound problems inherent in fundamentalism of all stripes. The killer espouses a vile fundamentalism that strips away people's dignity and worth. His fundamentalism seeks to validate violence for the 'right' reasons of his own making. Norway and her people and their response to this ghastly event remind us that respect for different viewpoints and valuing diversity is the only way humanity can evolve and even survive.  

I feel sad. I feel a bit despairing that a native of a country with such great values and social justice practices as Norway could commit such a crime, but people are people. 


I take comfort in the knowledge that for every person like this dangerously misguided and deluded individual there are thousands who are trying to live life in the best, most socially responsible, inclusive, generous hearted way.  


Elizabeth of @mymilkspilt fame posted this earlier today. The comment summed it all up for me:

 "Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors."

Andrew Boy (Source: myspiltmilk via changingmyperspective, via guerrillamamamedicine)

I don't know who Andrew Boy is, but I sure admire his sentiment.


The following are the last two tweets from the man who provided much of the information I've shared in this blog post. 

ketilbstensrud Ketil B. Stensrud

The brutal, calculated home-grown terrorist has confessed. Rest is now left to our judicial system. I'm exhausted. Time for bed.

ketilbstensrud Ketil B. Stensrud 

One last thought: It's a beautiful world we live in, with warm, inspiring, loving, courageous people all over. Let's keep it that way. Out.

I love his parting comment. It truly exemplifies the spirit of the Norwegian people. I hope he managed to get some sleep.  Thinking of all the people in Norway as they recover and heal from this terrible ordeal and come to terms with the loss of so many beautiful young people. I know that Norway will continue to provide the inspiration, ideals and values that we all love and admire so much; the leadership and people have demonstrated that commitment in the worst of times.