Healing from Birth Trauma

A very important post on birth trauma was posted by a guest blogger on the wonderful Rachel Reed's  Midwife Thinking blog the other day.  As I read the post and then the comments, I was taken by a young woman's story of her two births; one traumatic and one healing.  I emailed Amber and asked her if she would allow me to publish her stories on my blog because there are many powerful lessons to be learned from her experiences. Amber kindly agreed and here are her stories.  The posts are long, but well worth reading in depth to gather and savour the illuminations she gives us. For those of us who are pregnant parents and those of us who are midwives or other health care practitioners working with birthing women, her words are precious invitations into the world of birth and what women need.

The headings provide links to Amber's blog.

Tale of Two Birth Stories, Part 1

I wish to share my birth stories because becoming a mother is where this journey began. I cannot tell the one without the other—it would only be telling half the story of how I came to be the woman I am today. The birth of my son, now almost three years ago, is still very fresh and vivid in my mind…and deeply painful. I have been repeatedly reminded that I am so fortunate, a hemorrhage is such a little thing; and indeed, as I commented recently, “on paper” it looks like a wonderfully successful natural birth, but to me, it was a nightmare, and one I’ve lived repeatedly over the years. It was only recently that I realized I have truly been grieving over this birth and, allowing myself to go through that process, I believe I have finally arrived at a peace and even a gratitude for that day: for without it I would never had had the courage to take my first step into this wonderful adventure God is unfolding before me now.

I made the choice to birth in hospital as a compromise. I had wanted a homebirth from the time that I knew they were still an option—I’m an introvert and deeply sensitive when it comes to privacy—but due to fear of confrontation and concern for my mother (who is not well and unable to handle stress), I convinced myself that a CNM in hospital wouldn’t be horrible: I still had a midwife and my mom wouldn’t have to worry unduly. I had also convinced myself that Mom had to be a part of the birth of her first grandchild (how could I deny her that?) even though I knew she’s never been able to handle any situation in which I’ve been ill or in pain.

My heart screamed it was a mistake throughout all my prenatal care, but I stuck to my choice even though I was becoming increasingly unwell. Because I was perfectly healthy in all the numbers, my concerns were repeatedly ignored and downplayed as mere complaining. I was frustrated, determined, hopeful, and excited all at once. Thus sets the stage for that eventful day…

Maternal intelligence: Calling the baby in

I've just read the most intense and illuminating blog post of a woman's birth story.

Rixa, of Stand and Deliver fame, posted the story of her baby Inga's unintended unassisted birth at home. One of my favourite comments, showing Rixa's wonderful presence of mind is when she was seeking to understand how close to birth she was...

"I knelt and reached inside. Sure enough, there was a hard round head about two knuckles deep. I felt around for a while, trying to figure out what was what. With all of the folded tissues and wrinkly baby’s head, it’s sometimes hard to tell where you end and baby begins!"

Baby Inga needed resuscitation, which Rixa did brilliantly.  You can see how Rixa managed the resuscitation of her baby with great mindfulness and focussed attention in the second video on her blog about Inga's birth.

Rixa explained that she had been certified in neonatal resuscitation a few years before. I'm not sure what other midwives do, but for anyone I considered could labour and birth quickly, I made a point of taking them through resuscitation of the newborn in case the baby arrived before I did. These days I recognise everyone needs that information, both for birth and beyond. We never know when those skills may come in handy; a woman told me that she was so glad I'd taught her as she had resuscitated a friend's child who fell in a swimming pool.

In terms of a newborn's transition to extrauterine life, certainly having the cord intact helps. Anyone who has seen a newborn with the cord clamped and cut immediately at birth would recognise the extra effort it takes for those babies to ground themselves and recover from the birth process.

Watching Rixa resuscitate her baby with five quick breaths and words of encouragement is a useful and informative experience for anyone to view. The way she talks to her baby is so important and I encourage mothers and fathers to do the same when they are in labour and when the baby is born.  "Calling the baby in" to its body is an essential part of the birth and transition to extrauterine life process and the importance is an understanding shared by Indigenous cultures and homebirth midwives. "Calling the baby in" is a recognition of the spiritual essence or consciousness of the baby and indicates an understanding of the way that the spirit can separate from the body (also known as 'out of body' experiences) during intensely emotional and/or challenging times. My personal view is that a mindfully aware, welcoming and lovingly focussed on the baby mother (and father) is the most important safety feature of labour and birth.

Rixa's birth and action to help her baby reminded me of the maternal intelligence in this video (following) of an elephant mother.  Some people may be offended by the association of an animal's behaviour with that of a human. However it is important to recognise that scientists use animals in all sorts of  ways to see how they respond to get insights into human experience and behaviour. Therefore it is highly appropriate to think about the commonalities in these two mothers and their attention to the needs of their newborn babies.  We are wiser with the way we treat animals as we realise we have to leave them alone to birth normally. We recognise that surveillance and well meaning intervention does more harm that good with animals. We have yet to fully appreciate that with human labour and birth.

The elephant mother is Nikki, her baby is Riski.  Note the mindful attending presence of the elephant mother and the way she calls her baby in. Watch the baby's eye as the spirit enters and stays.

Whatever your perspective about spirit, consciousness, birth, danger, surveillance, mother's innate intelligence, newborn babies resilience etc, these videos and the maternal intelligence that is evident in these videos invites us to think deeply about these matters.